“I can’t hear you!”, the words in bold as I opened an email from my recent radio guest, On River Time. What? I logged into the radio archive vault to listen to the recent interview recording.
The conversation with my guest about Waterbending was intact without my voice! How could it possibly be that as the host, my voice was missing? Never had this occurred in my 5 years on the local public radio station.
Mortified, I began to sort out the root of the problem. Yep, I had inadvertently turned off my microphone. Feelings of self-doubt ran through my thoughts. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Now what? I had let down my guest, the station, and our listeners.
Sitting in a puddle for a short time, I needed a break. One of my strategies for stress relief is to go to my drum, a tool that becomes more useful every time my hands touch her skin. One hand on my heart, I gently circled the drumhead with the other hand. Immediately I began to feel grounded with both feet planted on the floor. The internal noise began to lessen as I turned inward.
As I began to let my body sense take charge, I started with the beat of my heart, Dum, Dum. My internal compass tuned in to connect with my personal rhythm of the steady, trusted heartbeat. Slowly and easily my hands found some familiar rhythms that were calming. The soothing water rhythm came through my body to calibrate to the flow within me.
Later, in the evening, the words, “I blocked my own voice”, popped into my consciousness. Once again, I faced the sudden awareness that something was stirring that intuitively spoke to me. Yes, I had focused so intently on my radio guest that I had neglected the importance of claiming my voice.
Choice point. My internal avatar, ShaMama, whispered that I needed to take another look at how I was spending my time and energy. Around the spiral of body/mind/spirit, I saw that if I wanted to be true to myself and my potent intent and purpose to BE an Evolutionary Catalyst, I needed to release my belief that my voice was less important than other voices.
Time to claim and upgrade a stuck belief about myself. Since I had named the stuck energy, I was willing and ready for an upgrade. “I have wisdom that wants to come through me. I claim that I am an open vessel to allow unconscious rememberings to become visible and amplified.”
My inside process felt juiced up like the hydrating benefits of water moving from the bottom of my feet upward through the top of my head. I felt a receptivity from the top of my head back down to the bottom of my feet. A circular flow.
Now to shift into the acceptance that I am becoming more attuned to the emanations of my voice that resonates with how I can continue to meet needs of our evolution as possible Beings. Name it, Claim it, Be it. “I am an Evolutionary Catalyst”. I am evolving.
Imagine a thousand points of light fragmented from each other. Each beam is hidden from the other beams. When integration occurs, the separate beams shape and reform to become a coherent wave of radiating visible light. Beyond words, we know we are coming home to the essence of the sacred self.